
It's For You!
God hasn’t spoken with me lately. Actually, to be more precise, He has not spoken to me at all. Ever! Not sure if He has lost my number or He has just not mastered “Twitter”, but so far only silence emanating from that quarter. Perhaps this oversight is due in large part to the nonstop attention He must devote to all those politicians and scoundrels out there who seem to have a direct line to the Deity. I too have been busy but is that really an excuse? Call waiting has a purpose.
Take George W. Bush. He made the decision to go to war with another country based on his dialogue with God. God apparently gave the “go ahead” which helped launch us into a debacle that has left many people dead, a country in ruins, and produced an uptick in recruitment for other “crazies” over there to mark us as target practice. They also insist that they are carrying out orders from on high to rid the world of “infidels” and blast us back into the Stone Age where apparently God spent some happier times. Go figure. One can assume that either God was talking out of both sides of His mouth, or there is an imposter gleefully gumming up the works since you cannot have it both ways.
Did Mark Sanford actually consult God when he invited his “spiritual adviser” to accompany him to NYC for a “date” with his mistress? That scene must have been particularly interesting. Three people wining and dining together and discussing the “righteousness” of adultery between courses. What was the game plan to this tryst? The spiritual adviser, the cheating spouse, and the “other woman” each presenting an argument as to why this was a “good” or “ bad” thing to continue or to end the relationship while perusing the dessert menu and consulting the Lord. Mark is now doing some sort of penance on his road to salvation, all the while revealing that perhaps he had stepped over the line in his marriage and broke his vows in seeking his “soul mate”. I could have told him that and saved him the angst!
Ted Haggard is still selling the theory that he is continually working out his difficulties through his daily conversations with God. Obviously God is “holding back” since Ted continues to deny his own homosexuality but is still seeking partners apparently with the idea of “overcoming” his urges. His wife is in full support since she too has had her own “conversation with God” who is pressing for “patience” on her part. Again, this marriage is worth saving since everyone involved is in favor of allowing Ted to “find himself” by acting out his sexual urges for the sake of his soul. If God is charging these two for marital advice they are getting royally screwed!
Sarah Palin has advised us time and time again that she has a “personal relationship” with God who has repeatedly advised her on life making decisions. In one of her interviews with Greta, when asked if she planned to run for president, she answered that she will rely on God telling her if and when she should “walk through that door”. She went on to stipulate that she rarely makes a decision until she has consulted God who “never lets her down”. So if we are to believe that statement one must ponder just what it was that God said that clinched her decision to walk away from the state of Alaska midway through her term. We can assume God told her to run for governor. But was there a built in caveat included as well? “Run, Sarah, but remember to resign while you still have 17 months to go as this is what is best for the state. This is the “sacrifice” that you must make for my will to be done.” Does any of this make sense? Actually, no. Anymore than the mullahs, Fred Phelps and the Westborough Church, Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson, Louis Farrakhan, Bill Donohue, Rev. Wright, Warren Jeffs, or the pope for that matter. “Crazy” is not limited to any one denomination.
I love it when each time another fraud marches to the microphone, tears welling, voice breaking, invoking yet again the name of God in the belief that the rest of us idiots out here will see the contriteness and pity the fool who is now just attempting to find his/her way back to God. Of course the truth of the matter rests in the very fact that they have been “found out” and the ink on the indictment is just about dry and ready to serve. Had not some intrepid reporter or sharp eyed law enforcement agent not played “peek a boo” into their double dealings, chances are the path to redemption would be taking a different turn. The only credit I can bestow upon Bernie Madoff is in that he never used his “relationship with God” to make amends. That would have been just too much. Bernie let us know that he was a natural born liar and heel which had nothing to do with God.
Those who do so are usually intent on letting us know how much better they are than the rest of us. Communicating with God brooks no criticism as how does one argue with the Deity? And whatever actions or behavior that results can be attributed to “god’s will” and who has the courage to challenge that? If God has decreed that war is good, homosexuality an abomination, girls at 12 should be married off, women are secondary, jihads are necessary, and eating meat on Friday was the fastest ticket to an eternity in hell, then why should I not accept that He speaks to a choice few with regularity? Just because He does not correspond with me is probably nothing more than an oversight. Or it may be that I am just too boring.
I am all for spirituality. It is the “organized groups” that bothers me. I have no clue as to the meaning of life but I am in awe of beauty, talent, intelligence, emotion, the different little gestures that make us stand apart as human beings while admitting that we are all the same. But when I am forced to listen to those who insist that God is sitting in front of a computer, or manning a switchboard handing out advice and consultation while the Darfur rages on, or kids go hungry or some other monster steps forward “ in the name of God” and announces that another slaughterhouse is open for business, I cannot help but react.
For if much of this advice has turned out bad over the years, then how seriously can one take it? And just an added thought, that perhaps that “voice” you may be hearing is nothing more than the voice in your own head rather than some mystical communiqué guiding your path. It is commonly known as a conscience.