I Tolerate Handicapped People

How did that make you feel? Reading that? Pretty bad? Pretty mad? Defensive? What did you first want to say? “I can’t believe she said that!” “OMG!” “How hateful!” “What a stupid ass thing to say.” Just to type it feels bad. I feel dirty for just getting that off my breast.

“I tolerate gay people.” That doesn’t feel so bad for me to type, but then again I am making a point. Doesn’t seem to feel so bad for some people in our world to say it either. I think they think it is progress in some weird screwed up way. The disconnect is staggering.

Does it feel bad for you to type or say, “I tolerate gay people.” “I tolerate the gay lifestyle.” (Oops. On that one I might have given some wiggle room to argue they are not the same.) “I tolerate handicapped people.” “I tolerate women on the rag.”

Are they the same? Are they all hate speech? Is one the evolution in processing “the gay issue”? Does it reveal the growth of our society and conscience that we have grown into “tolerate”? I tolerate handicapped people. I tolerate gay people. Why does one feel so different from the other?

Oh, I know. To defuse the feelings, your feelings, my feeling of “dirty” for even entitling this piece, “I Tolerate Handicapped People”, I will need to offer some facts. Some point of reference. Some argument. Some proof for my thesis that some people do not feel bad one freaking bit for saying, “I tolerate gay people.” Many do think it is progress. I sure hope it progresses further one day.

I am not going to offer antithesis. I am not going to soften the blow. (Hold the ambivalence.) I am going to let my own fear stand that one day someone might google my name and say, but she said…. Many politicians and their constitutes have grown comfortable with saying and actually feeling, “I tolerate gay people” on the public stage. Why the hell should I ever be afraid that my words would ever be taken out of context?

Fight it out pro-choice and pro-life, women and men, as to which came first, the chicken or the egg. Oh, and keep in mind that there are medical tests available today (if you can afford them) that can determine birth defects. Medical tests are advancing all the time. Reproductive rights “issues” might look very different in our future.

(Not to even mention, but I will, “issues” of gay adoption. The babies that women choose to carry full term with “defects” and offer for adoption really do need loving homes. Oh, and I won’t mention stem cell research either. So many “issues” to consider.)

Are you going to tolerate or love that baby you choose to bring into this world? She or he or both might be viewed as “tolerated” later down the road? Are you going to bring that baby into this, sometimes intolerable, circumstantial world, if you know it has a birth defect? Can you afford the special care, financially and emotionally, that it will need? Are you going to offer a handicapped child to a homosexual couple or a single homosexual, for that matter?

Hold the ambivalence. A very wise women told me that over 20 years ago. Took me a long time to figure that out. (She let me make the decision on my own.) I came to the baby-bird-falling-from-the-nest scenario. “Oh, should I pick it up or touch it? Should I just let nature take her course? The nest looks so unstable.” I came to the mental and emotional consensus that whatever I decide to do, I will cup her gently. Choices are never easy for any of us to make.

Yes, I was addressing this to the “Can pro-lifers and pro-choicers ever work together” debate of 2009. Ex-Governor Sarah Palin seems to be the sounding-stick and rage for many lately. No, she did not say, per say, “I tolerate gay people” directly, just three different versions of tolerance.

Sarah in her own words…….

The reason for the first video is to highlight some of the hypocrisy from the right, even from Sarah Palin.

The reason I bring the next two videos to your attention is to highlight the real division that remains over the issue of choice. It is not something we can pretend does not exist. It is an issue where we will never achieve a 51% majority concensus, nor should we even try. To convince onself that other issues are more important than choice is a very risky strategy. There is nothing the anti choicers would like more than to have pro choicers give into the meme that abortion is what is holding back women in this country. This type of strategy achieves nothing for the choice community and gives a great upper hand to those in the anti choice community.

Roe v. Wade is probably not in danger of being overturned. The anti choicers have somewhat given up that route and they are coming at it from a different angle, with great success. What they are doing is making it extremely difficult for women, via state legislation, to have access to a clinic, a doctor or medication . Also, they are putting the fear of death into health providers who would perform and give access to these procedures and medications. These tactics are working folks.

Barack Obama is straddling the fence on the issue and the Democratic Party is becoming infested with pro-lifers all in the name of framing the choice viewpoint as the great divider of our society. Choice is being watered down before our very eyes and to see feminists deciding that abortion is costing women their great victory is very disheartening and foolish.

The pro choice movement is under assault and people want to pretend that everything is hunky dory, because Sarah Palin was a victim of sexism and by golly we must support her! I do not support her. I defend her against the sexist onslaught. I will not be silenced from criticizing her pro life stance. Do people want to pretend George Tillers murder was just one crazy lone wolf and that it was not a concerted effort amongst the craziest of pro lifers in society to abolish abortion?? People should make the distinction of protecting and defending all women from sexism without having to be silenced while our rights are being eroded to this very day in the most viscious and underhanded way.

Morning Widdershins: Guilty Pleasures To Be Sure

On an earlier post we touched upon certain tv programs that we had come to follow, some so irreverent we often told no one of our viewing for fear of being “voted off the island”.

What we read and what we watch can be interpreted as a window into our inner selves since often our choices leave a lot to be desired. I seldom watch commercial tv but I do have my favorites that I have compiled to give you a glimpse into my pedestrian tastes. Feel free to comment or better yet, tell us what it is that you watch so that we too may “judge”.

THE SOPRANOS: Absolutely the best series ever, both for writing, acting, directing, and overall execution, to ever hit the airwaves. Loaded with gore and brutality, it was primarily a story of one man’s attempt in coming to terms with himself but tied so closely to the mob roots that claimed him there was no getting out. Personal torment, immorality, love of family, and a personal code unknown to most of us, this was the most riveting show to gain my attention. Superb on every level.

FAMILY GUY: An animated series that could never have made it as a production starring real actors. Hilariously funny, totally irreverent, completely off the wall, it attacks all things sacred. Religion, animals, wives, children, neighbors, and politicians, nothing is out of bounds here. The voices of the characters are perfect. This series is so “bad” that it took me ages to reveal myself as a fan.  We are talking definite lowbrow here.

ENTOURAGE: A series about an upcoming actor and his friends in Hollywood. The use of the “f” word and the countless ways it has been incorporated into the dialogue is unique! However the best part is the role of Ari, magnificently played by Jeremy Piven and supposedly based on Rahm Emanuel’s brother Ari, a big time Hollywood agent. My kids were speechless knowing I follow faithfully watch this show.

BRIDEZILLA: I know, you can’t get much lower class than this. Watching those awful brides, some lucky to have a guy at all, screaming, crying, whining, yelling, badgering, demanding, pouting, crying and being just plain horrible is reality at its best. Never has there been such a group of loser women, most of them in need of a Weight Watcher regimen, insisting that their attendants “lose weight” before the big day. Many of these vastly overweight brides insist on wearing sleeveless dresses which more often than not look as if they are carrying “heads” under their own armpits when marching down the aisle. Not a good look. The “f” word here is liberally employed throughout as the bride, finding fault with just about everything and everybody, falls back on that single word to describe her misery. And the grooms leave a lot to be desired as they stand back, helpless in the face of these unmitigated attacks, looking for all the world like idiots. How these marriages are supposed to work out starting from this place is questionable. But I do watch.  (blushing)

THE RED GREEN SHOW: Difficult to explain if you have never seen it since it is a Canadian import shown exclusively on PBS. It revolves around a character named Red Green, a lazy proprietor of an unproductive lodge and his nerdy nephew, Harold. The uniqueness of Red’s inventions each week, along with the snark that passes for dialogue, is amusing.

BRIAN LAMB ON C-SPAN: His low key interviews with authors and newsmakers of the day are excellent. Wholly prepared on the subject at hand, his technique in drawing out items of interest from his subject is informative and done in a polite setting without any “gotcha” written in. Commendable offering.

RED SOX BASEBALL: What else can I say? I love watching these skilled athletes playing with such focus and determination to win. Win or lose, I am always a fan.

30 ROCK: Tina Fey, Alec Baldwin, Elaine Stritch. Doesn’t get much better than this.

BIG LOVE: A story built around a Mormon family of one man, his three wives, a bunch of children, and their adherence to the practice of “The Principle” in living their daily lives. Again the writing and acting is superb and the story line is compelling. Just a man looking to keep his unorthodox family together while shielding his religious practices from the outside world. I love it.

CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM: A show built around one of the most unlikable characters ever created and brilliantly played by Larry David, it is funny, irreverent, and diabolical all at the same time. There is nothing redeeming about this character which is exactly what the creator, David himself, had in mind. Funny, funny, funny!

These are some of my favorites and I am sure you have your own. I showed you mine. You show me yours!